I try to shave at night so my skin has a chance to settle by the early morning call-time.

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

A property in the 100-year floodplain has a 96 percent chance of being flooded in the next hundred years without global warming. The fact that several years go by without a flood does not change that probability.

Sometimes it takes an injury to get your chance.

I have connected by phone with customers who have left negative reviews and had a chance to get to know them. Not only was I able to solve their problems, a lot of the customers were so happy with the customer service that they become repeat customers.

For me, it's just finding ways to create shots. I feel like if I got a shot off, it has a good chance of going in. So it's finding ways of creating different shots. Being smart. I watch film a lot, and different tricks that I can do to get my shot off the ball and creating ways to get shots off of pick-and-rolls or one-on-one situations like that.

Welcome, wild harbinger of spring! To this small nook of earth; Feeling and fancy fondly cling, Round thoughts which owe their birth, To thee, and to the humble spot, Where chance has fixed thy lowly lot.

I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.

I don't know, maybe I'm immature, but I still find it funny if I dump cold water on my girlfriend when she's in the shower.

It's funny... you can make fun of AIDS or Haiti, but if you make fun of some starlet in Hollywood's looks? That's like the one thing... the line you are not to cross.

I just heard a very funny story about somebody who died yesterday, I'm sorry to say so but it was so absurd that you can't help laughing. And the person that was concerned about that story was laughing too.

Very few athletes have the chance to be brought into the White House.

I have no intention of lingering through a season, just to have a chance to be an alternate on a relay. I don't want that.

The trials on the road to world harmony are no greater than the courage of those who accept the challenge.

Life is about timing.

The best kids are going to become the best. But the best thing about it is that you're going to learn lessons in playing those sports about winning and losing and teamwork and teammates and arguments and everything else that are going to affect you positively for the rest of your life.

Amateurism is the strongest form of discrimination in sports. Because it discriminates against the underprivileged, it discriminates against the poor. If we want sports to go back to the wealthy, let's make it amateur again.

If I stay healthy and I'm playing good tennis I have as good a chance as anybody.

I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh.

You get one chance to make an impression, and coasting through is a disservice.

Everyday life is pretty funny and pretty ridiculous and occasionally really great, though not all the time, and that's all part of it.

I'm mourning with the rest of the world for the talented, gorgeous, funny, intelligent John Forsythe but my heart is broken for the loss of my dear, dear friend and neighbor. I will miss him terribly.

George Clooney is exactly what you would expect. He's annoyingly good looking, insanely funny, and super smart. So you just feel really inferior around him all the time. You end up feeling really bad about yourself, but you walk away feeling really great about George Clooney.

Can I play a southern character? You betcha. Can I do the voice of Tourist Dad and Carnival Barker? Ya betcha. Can I do Fix-It Felix? Ya betcha. But I don't want to just play southern characters, so I hide it; I bury it. I tamp it down like a secret. Like a dirty little secret.

Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.

I don't know if I was a funny kid. I would say I was a loud and weird kid.

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.

When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.

I come from a background of hanging out with friends and shooting videos with them, with funny stuff coming out of the group. I guess we got the same charge jocks get out of sports.

Don't remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you'll be disappointed.

There was no difference between the behavior of a god and the operations of pure chance.

Thinking of Plan B muddies up your chances of succeeding at Plan A.

Worldwide is an overused word. But it's true that being known has given me new ideas and a chance to get to know new people who think in different ways. I want to hear myself referred to as Elie Saab, without labels or titles.

Across our country, social enterprise partnerships between the public and private sectors are providing millions of Americans - young and old - a second chance.

I guess the producers saw me and knew I was literate and I always tried to be alert and it's funny because you have to have a sharpness to do those shows, especially some of the ones I did in later years.

Honestly, I like someone who is really grounded, super sweet, honest. I need them to have a sense of humor. I need them to laugh at what's funny, I need them to get jokes and be funny and be witty and sarcastic.

I've never played Scots or got the chance to do my Scottish accent. I'm always trying it out in auditions, but they always say no. I'd love to act in a Scottish accent for once.

To have been the first woman premier of Victoria was not only a great opportunity but also a great chance to say to the young women of Victoria - Liberal or Labor - 'You can do it, too.'

Dad never misses a chance to remind me that whenever we are travelling together, if 100 people mob him for autographs, five approach me.

The censorship is such on television in the U.S. that films like mine don't stand a chance.

I had a kind of meandering little career, and then I was given a chance to play one of the bottom six in The Dirty Dozen.

If you look at the fact that the best chance we have for a good economy is the private sector. The government cannot create jobs. If the government could create jobs, then Communism would have worked. But didn't work. So what we have to do is allow the private sector and the entrepreneurial spirit to lead us back to a job-filled recovery.

In true-life dramas, you have to do so much research. It's a big responsibility to make sure things are as correct as possible. In 'Robin Hood', you have more artistic license - it's all action, adventure and reaction. This gives everyone a chance to make their characters their own and to make them believable.

I want the chance to play very different characters, and I've always wanted to do more films.

Ill-fitted T-shirts stretched over a gut are my pet hate. And if the colour's faded - ugh.

My dad had a flock of sheep, which he used to milk, and then my mum used to make cheese and yogurt out of the sheep's milk and sell it. It was kind of an unusual upbringing, really.

Getting a chance to practice six months against my own teammates, who I consider the best soccer players in the world, there's no way I couldn't improve.

We've heard the excuses from those responsible for hiring that they don't want to take a chance on a new director. But the truth is that the industry hires new directors all the time; it's just that most of them are white males.

They managed to find time... to tell me that there was no chance of my being accepted for service and that really I should be surprised to still be alive.

When I die there may be a paragraph or two in the newspapers. My name will linger in the British Museum Reading Room catalogue for a space at the head of a long list of books for which no one will ever ask.