My mom, well, she's half Greek, half German-Italian; born in England. She's just a nomad. She loves Middle Eastern style, Indian style, so much so that she ended up having Indian babies.

I find there's this weird anger thing: Someone will approach me at the bar and say, 'Hey, can I buy you a drink?' And I'll say, 'No, I'm okay.' And then all of a sudden, there's this male anger flip, where they go, 'Oh, you know what? I wasn't even gonna buy you a drink, 'cause you're not even that cute anyway,' and walk away.

Flirting is funny. And it's awkward and weird.

I'm in an age bracket now where I can play the father of an adult daughter whose going through her life issues, and she'll come to me for advice while I'm wearing my Christmas sweater and swirling a cup of hot cocoa.

I learned mime back when I was in college, at Ball State University, Indiana. That woke up my body from the neck down and made me realize that acting and communication - portraying a story, event, or emotion - is a full-body experience.

Christmas cookies can't help but be retro - they are memory first, sugar-flour-egg-redhot-gumdrop-sparkle reality second.

That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That's what the trees are all about.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

My wife is a very attractive woman, and she's always worried about her diet. But she doesn't pay attention to me, and I don't pay attention to her. She's a vegetarian, and it drives me crazy.

We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'

Throughout my teenage years, I read 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens every December. It was a story that never failed to excite me, for as well as being a Dickens enthusiast, I have always loved ghost stories.

The joy of Christmas causes hundreds of radio stations around the country to play Christmas music all day, and people will exchange millions of gifts to remember the first gift of Christmas, the infant Jesus.

As we see thousands of public and private Christmas trees and nativity displays around the country, they remind us again of the powerful American value built into our Constitution: our freedom of religion.

For the millions of Americans, like my family, who believe that there is a creator God who can be known personally, Christmas is a celebration of Jesus' offer of love and forgiveness for all people.

Christmas is a great time to recommit to each other and our communities.

Spanish Explorers celebrated Christmas in 1539 in the area we now know as the State of Florida.

Every generation has to protect every one of their rights, whether that's freedom of the press, freedom of speech, or freedom of faith. You have to remain diligent.

Every person is created in the image of God and has value. Every person. Every person is to be treated with respect. Every person is also a citizen of some country. In their country, they have rights and responsibilities; in every other country, they are a guest.

I don't see people who are eager for shutdowns. While some people have a romantic ideal about shutdowns, the vast majority of Republicans and Democrats believe you have to try to work problems out rather than having a shutdown.

Friends and family do not believe you write fiction. They truly believe that every word you write is either autobiographical or based on them. I once had a character say that she never wanted to be invited to another children's birthday party, and I never received another children's birthday party invitation ever again.

Google is my best friend and my worst enemy. It's fabulous for research, but then it becomes addictive. I'll have a character eating an orange, and next thing I'm Googling types of oranges, I'm visiting chat rooms about oranges, I'm learning the history of the orange.

Every time I sit down to write, I need to commit to a word count goal, otherwise I waste too much time editing and re-editing my previous work, staring dreamily off into space, pretending that I'm thinking profound, poetic thoughts when really I'm just thinking, 'Look at me being a writer! I'm so happy I'm a writer!'

I always wanted to write for children. When I was growing up, we were really poor. My mother had left, and it was all a mess. So I lived in my head a lot, and I would get lots of books for Christmas - from librarians and teachers - and they just fed my imagination.

Prejudice is sinful. All blood flows red. And the most harmful and foolish kind of prejudice is prejudice against yourself. Every woman is your sister, and every woman needs her sisters. So try to give other women the courtesy of your compassion, respect, and forgiveness. Love yourself despite - and because of - your flaws.

I grew up feeling 'less than.' I was the sad, shy child hiding in the hall closet beneath coats. I'd wait for my grandmother's voice to call, 'Jewell, Jewell.' I was lost, waiting to be found. I thought being found, I'd be happier, better. All the while, I read stories. Stories with both truth and lies.

I would love for there to be a 'Voodoo Dreams' movie, especially after seeing the glorious 'Beasts of the Southern Wild.' I so admired how the filmmakers captured Louisiana and the magical atmosphere. I cried.

My mother had abandoned the family, so grandmother raised me. And she was instrumental in that she taught me that the world is a glorious place. She taught me to embrace humanity. And she'd say there's never an excuse for joy. And to be thankful.

The empathy I found reading 'Heidi' and 'Little Women' is empathy we have as human beings that can feed all of our souls. We have our differences, but we're all so similar in our humanness. So those stories about young girls overcoming meant a lot to me and gave me hope.

I think it's always natural for children to rebel against their parents and establish their own identity. And also, I think parents get invested in, you know, doing the right thing? And so their anxiety about being good parents might, in a way, affect a relationship negatively.

I love historical fiction because there's a literal truth, and there's an emotional truth, and what the fiction writer tries to create is that emotional truth.

Growing up, my birthday was always Confederate Memorial Day. It helped to create this profound sense of awareness about the Civil War and the 100 years between the Civil War and the civil rights movement and my parents' then-illegal and interracial marriage.

I think the biggest thing that I have to do is to remind people that poetry is there for us to turn to not only to remind us that we're not alone - for example, if we are grieving the loss of someone - but also to help us celebrate our joys. That's why so many people I know who've gotten married will have a poem read at the wedding.

Even though I am the daughter of a poet, and my stepmother is also a poet, growing up, I didn't think I could understand poetry; I didn't think that it had any relevance to my life, the feelings that I endured on a day-to-day basis, until I was introduced to the right poem.

So many Christmas films either are twee, or try and go super edgy, then stick on something Christmassy at the end of the movie.

Christmas movies, it's a hard thing to do. The danger is you just end up with a Hollywood star with a Santa beard. You risk it being fake and cheesy and not real.

My first recognition of age setting in was exactly on my 36th birthday. I have no idea why, on this day of all days, I looked in the mirror and realized my face no longer looked young.

I was fired by 'America's Next Top Model' on my birthday.

I timed my previous wife's pregnancy to the moment to have my son born on Bob Dylan's 50th birthday. There is no bigger Bob Dylan fan than me. You don't just time the day and impregnate your wife to get your kid to be born on Bob Dylan's 50th birthday.

A jazz musician can improvise based on his knowledge of music. He understands how things go together. For a chef, once you have that basis, that's when cuisine is truly exciting.

Cooking is exactly like making music.

I hate birthdays. I thought that I only hated my own birthday, and then I realized that I hate my children's birthdays too.

Don't judge me. I made a lot of money.

A lot of funny stuff happens in Canada.

I do have a family, and I do have friends, and so-called friends, and acquaintances, and many other people I see only around Christmas time. Maybe they could vouch for me. Maybe they could testify to my existence and save a part of me that thinks I'm no better than a bag of potato chips.

If I find cool, open-minded people, want to do unique one-of-a-kind kind of project, I'll do it as long as I can.