Society exists only as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals.

Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everyone in good society holds exactly the same opinion.

I suppose society is wonderfully delightful. To be in it is merely a bore. But to be out of it is simply a tragedy.

Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.

There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor. The poor can think of nothing else.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

A poet can survive everything but a misprint.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.

Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects.

Perhaps one of the most difficult things for us to do is to choose a notable and joyous dress for men. There would be more joy in life if we were to accustom ourselves to use all the beautiful colours we can in fashioning our own clothes.

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

I can resist everything except temptation.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.

You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit.

If there was less sympathy in the world, there would be less trouble in the world.

The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates.

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not.

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead.