Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.

If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day.

I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning.

Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, 'Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?'

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.

The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny.

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I'm really thrilled.

You got to have a lot of courage. Secondly, whatever it is you're doing, you have to believe in it wholeheartedly. Thirdly, you have to be able to stand up in front of people and know that they'll laugh.

Most people think the character I do onstage is the way I am offstage, but I'm just a regular guy who spends time with his family and who turns on the television and watches a lot of sports.

Among my friends, I'm not a little Boy Scout, and they love my humor, thank God.

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.

Herb Solo at that time was the head of MGM. I said, 'I want to live like Clint Eastwood.' Did I know at that time Clint Eastwood, to him, Heaven was a truck, a dog, and a picnic basket for food or something?