Al Franken's Quotes

I'm part of the mushball middle. I consider 'confused' the majority position because, thankfully, most people would rather be uncertain some of the time than 100% positive all the time - even when they're wrong.

Al Franken

Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.

Al Franken

The government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting Americans' privacy. But when Americans lack the most basic information about our domestic surveillance programs, they have no way of knowing whether we're getting that balance right. This lack of transparency is a big problem.

Al Franken

Harvard's Kennedy School of Government asked me to serve as a fellow at its Shorenstein Center on the Press, Politics, and Public Policy. After my varied and celebrated career in television, movies, publishing, and the lucrative world of corporate speaking, being a fellow at Harvard seemed, frankly, like a step down.

Al Franken

Apple has long been a leading innovator of mobile technology; I myself own an iPhone.

Al Franken

It's hard to have that debate around secret programs authorized by secret legal opinions issued by a secret court. Actually, it's impossible to have that debate.

Al Franken

National security laws must protect national security. But they must also protect the public trust and preserve the ability of an informed electorate to hold its government to account.

Al Franken

I've never understood why we would want to deny all the joys - and the challenges - of marriage to anyone. Which is why I think any loving, committed couple - gay or straight - should be able to get married.

Al Franken

My dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O'Reilly is kind of a bully, and he's the kind of kid who hits other kids on the playground. And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, 'Teacher, sue him.'

Al Franken

My daughter became a teacher right out of college.

Al Franken

Teen pregnancy went way down in the '90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.

Al Franken

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

Al Franken

Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran. But when the veteran has a dog, the same people will come up and say, 'Hi' to pet the dog and then strike up a conversation.

Al Franken

Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.

Al Franken

Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.

Al Franken

There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.

Al Franken

There's plenty of room for humor in politics, God knows, but it's a serious business.

Al Franken

If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

Al Franken

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

Al Franken