There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.