John Mulaney's Quotes

If someone had written a review saying, ''Oh, Hello' is stupid,' we would have said, 'Yeah, it is. You're absolutely right.' That people liked it was extremely cool.

John Mulaney

I look back on being 17 and think, 'Oh my God, how did I not die?'

John Mulaney

The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

John Mulaney

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

John Mulaney

I love comedians that dive into politics. I personally don't feel comfortable, with my background, weighing in unless I have a take that I think is funny enough that I would put it in front of an audience.

John Mulaney

I've seen most of the major, important shows, but I watch them all at once, like movies, so my TV relationships are still with shows like 'Law And Order: SVU,' 'Shark Tank,' and HGTV.

John Mulaney

I have found that people who really want to work at 'Saturday Night Live' and pursue it get pretty close. You have to be funny - but everyone who works there, it was their dream to work there. So it's kind of nice in that way - there's a lot of people who say, 'I just always wanted to do this, and now I'm doing it.'

John Mulaney

Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many different cities, let alone perform in them, is something I am really grateful for.

John Mulaney

It's been very funny to try to act like an adult. Even getting dressed. Every day, I'm like, 'Should I wear a blazer and walk around with an umbrella? Do I carry a briefcase?' Because I'm trying to be some image of the adults I saw on TV growing up.

John Mulaney

Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome.

John Mulaney

My dad is and was very funny and had a really dry sense of humor, which, as a kid, seemed un-fun. But in retrospect, it's kind of hilarious.

John Mulaney

You can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term.

John Mulaney