When I was 11, I had an Ugly Sister birthday party. All my idea. Most girls want to be a fairy or a princess, but there I am with beauty spots and fur and fluorescent pink kiss-curls.

My friends asked me to be a reverend at their wedding in France a few years ago. I went on the Internet, and within 15 seconds, I was printing out a certificate which allowed me to officiate at their wedding.

I can see why people love the idea of a big white wedding - it is a day when they are the centre of attention and get to wear a beautiful dress. But that sounds awful to me because that is like getting ready to walk down the red carpet.