When a place advertises itself as 'World Famous,' you may be sure it isn't.

A city is not gauged by its length and width, but by the broadness of its vision and the height of its dreams.

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew.

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met.

I hope I go to Heaven, and when I do, I'm going to do what every San Franciscan does when he gets there. He looks around and says, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.'

Americans are pragmatic, relatively uncomplicated, hearty and given to broad humor.