If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.