You will never win if you never begin.

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

One man's folly is another man's wife.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.