Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.

The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.