A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.