Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.

Usually, if you smile at them and show some interest in the toy, they will give it to you. That's a straight up Democrat move!

I loved the first Christmas I had in England.

Accounts of eating Christmas sweet potatoes baked in ashes and jackrabbit stewed with white flour dumplings are testaments to pioneer resilience and pleasure - and they help inspire my own best scratch cooking.

I had been living in Ohio in my own house with my own life when my marriage abruptly came to an end. I had nowhere to go with my two sons, very little money, and not much to do in Ohio except be someone's ex-wife. My parents instantly and very generously invited my family to move back home to New York, where I could begin again.

If I'm about to forget my kid's birthday, I want the phone to scream at me until I do something about it.

There's an evolution from, today we tell computers to do stuff for us, to where computers can actually do stuff for us. For example, if I go and pick up my kids, it would be good for my car to be aware that my kids have entered the car and change the music to something that's appropriate for them.

For me, it matters that we drive technology as an equalizing force, as an enabler for everyone around the world. Which is why I do want Google to see, push, and invest more in making sure computing is more accessible, connectivity is more accessible.

The impact of giving someone a connected smartphone is no different from giving them a real computer. I look at how my kids learn and how different it is from how I learned because the impact of these things is just so huge. Sometimes I think we don't fully internalize what it is to get the power of knowledge in everyone's hand.

I have a secret project which adds four hours every day to the 24 hours we have. There's a bit of time travel involved.

My dad and mom did what a lot of parents did at the time. They sacrificed a lot of their life and used a lot of their disposable income to make sure their children were educated.

Nest is one vertical implementation of a set of smart products for the home. But we will support other people's smart products for the home.

My grandson sees me as Lois on TV every Christmas, and that scores me points.

The thing about being famous is, it's weird. The only people who get how weird it is are other famous people.

With any group of people in life, sad things happen, and crazy things, and happy things. When you're in the public eye, it's just amplified, that's all.

We didn't have movies in this little mining town. When I was 12 my mom took me to New York and I saw Bye Bye Birdie, with people singing and dancing, and that was it.

The thing about all good horror movies is that the fans expect a couple of inside jokes. Maybe I'm supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it, but it was really fun.

I love horror movies because they're really fun. They tap into those wonderful primal emotions.

I don't know if that's a year's bad luck, or if that's how it works. But stealing a Christmas tree - that can't be a good thing, karma-wise.

Some of my favorite records growing up were Christmas albums. The ones I liked best were the albums that you could listen to from start to finish. You could put them on while you're decorating the tree or driving around looking at Christmas lights.

Everybody has their favorite sad songs. That's part of what I love so much about country music. Country music is never afraid to go with a sad song.

I'm a sucker for a sad song.

I don't want to be the person who has the gigantic headlines: 'Look Who So-and-So Is Dating Now.' That, to me, isn't really who I am.

I'd rather do community service than sit and write a load of Christmas cards.

I don't live with people, that's why my relationships last. I'm not romantic. Even when I was a teenager if somebody asked if they could hold my hand I'd say, - no, it's not heavy, I can hold it myself, thank you'.

My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I'd rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney's barber shop.

A title means marketing. It means that company's coming soon, and you'd better get out the Christmas lights so they don't miss your house.

I love real books, paper books, but I also love buying online, and I think that people are more willing to take a chance to read something if it's cheaper - sometimes books on the Kindle are $6. A hardback book is $25. For $25, it better be a really great book. Or you're going to be mad.

At Christmas, 'It's a Wonderful Life' makes me cry in exactly the same places every time, even though I know it's coming.

I spent pretty much all my wages from 'No Country For Old Men' on a pair of cowboy boots. They're ridiculous. It's like wearing two Christmas trees on my legs.

I saw Richard Linklater's film 'Slacker' for my twenty-first birthday. That was the moment when it all seemed possible. This guy gave me hope.

There's something to be said for failing. It's not the failure you feel, it's the failure that people project when something disappoints. You're back to ground zero, where there's no expectations, and that's where I like to be.

Everybody's got one killer story. It doesn't take talent to tell that story, it just takes experience.

The only thing of value I have in this life is my ability to tell a story, whether in print, orating, writing it down or having people acting it out. That's why I'm always hoping society never collapses because the first ones to go will be entertainers.

Ask any teenage girl to describe her perfect bedroom, and you'll get answers like 'a room with a private phone line, a place to hang out with friends, and for it to be way-cool and funky.' Ask parents the same question, and 'a locked door that opens on their 21st birthday' might top the list!

Bathrooms are, on a square foot basis, the most expensive room in the house to renovate. If you want to test your heart's fitness, try shopping for simple bathroom faucets. Add in the cost of the required valves, mixers and trims, and you may need reviving when you see the tally!

Today's kitchen is all about a well-planned space that makes cooking a completely interactive experience among family and friends.

One of the most common reasons people renovate their homes is a change in their lifestyle - an upcoming wedding, a new baby, or grown children moving away.

I tell people marriage is a compromise, and so are renovations.

I credit my mom with inspiring in me a love of design, matched by her creative problem-solving abilities. This is a woman who could find an old, discarded piece of furniture, bring it home and turn it into something fabulous.

Strip makeup lights just don't give you a fighting chance no matter how good looking you are. Light sconces that flank the mirror illuminate your entire face evenly.

I'll never forget my 24th birthday when my tooth got punched out. And for a second I was like, it would be really hilarious if I sold it on eBay. But I can't, that's just too creepy. I don't think I can go there.

I have a very large shoebox overflowing with lyrics I've been writing and collecting since my teen years and into my late 20s, with lyrics from all walks of my life. Darkness, being in love, being heartbroken, finding yourself... and lyrics that I've been sitting on for, like, seven years, that I haven't done anything with.

John Candy knew he was going to die. He told me on his 40th birthday. He said, well, Maureen, I'm on borrowed time.

I was born into the most remarkable and eccentric family I could possibly have hoped for.

Above all else, deep in my soul, I'm a tough Irishwoman.

How could you have had such a wonderful life as me if there wasn't a God directing?

The Queen Mary was the most civilized and luxurious way one could travel to America in the late 1930s.

My heritage has been my grounding, and it has brought me peace.

I watch and listen to movies today and am shocked by the way actors deliver their lines. Everybody mumbles now and I don't understand why.