Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

I never let schooling interfere with my education.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.

The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.

We have the best government that money can buy.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.