Flirting is funny. And it's awkward and weird.

The friends in my real life do tend to be smart and funny and creative. I am lucky!

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.

You get to a new school, and you're the new guy, or you're the foreigner, or you're the guy with the funny accent. That first day at school was a whole new opportunity to create a new persona.

I always think of the Joker as the ultimate bully. Nothing he says is funny except to him.

It's obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belittles one's art.

What's funny about that is when I was writing Twilight just for myself and not thinking of it as a book, I was not thinking about publishing, and yet at the same time I was casting it in my head. Because when I read books, I see them very visually.

I just heard a very funny story about somebody who died yesterday, I'm sorry to say so but it was so absurd that you can't help laughing. And the person that was concerned about that story was laughing too.

It's funny that I got to do 'On the Road' because the thing that had the biggest impact on me growing up was reading books. I was very inspired by the book and this spirit of Dean Moriarty and how envious we all are of somebody who can be that carefree.

I tweet from bed. I love it because it's so quick. And it's funny. But it also leaves a lot of room for error because new people don't sense the sarcasm - there's no sarcasm font.

It's funny how a song can start in your mind, and then when it goes through all the filters, it ends up in a totally different spot.

'Silence Kid' starts with a broken classic-rock intro. It's funny to hear us do that. Obviously, we weren't skillful rock stars. Then it's spinning through a lot of hooks really fast, and all of a sudden, it's over.

You know, it was just another presentation of my work, and a funny one, because the cards are quite different from the normal Tarot deck, no?

The people running Silicon Valley are not making the show because they want to do a satire of Silicon Valley. They are just comedy writers, and they want to make a funny show.

Jill Soloway is a friend of mine. She does 'Transparent,' and she's amazingly funny and brilliant and bright. And I love her show.

There's a deep underlying unpredictability to life that is thrilling. In China, my wife would say you go out to buy toilet paper, and you come back, and something interesting or revealing or funny happened on the way.

Normally, it's one or the other - a pretty, straight woman or a more charactery woman who isn't supposed to be attractive. But women like Tina Fey are leading the charge on being both. You can be funny and attractive.

I have this weird obsession with kids and old people falling. Like, funny falls. It is awful, but it's the thing that makes me laugh the most.

My friends make me laugh: funny Instagram videos, but mostly people falling over. It's so bad, but it never gets old. I just love how people cover up their falls. The whole experience of 'Oh, I just fell, and I'm going to run out of the fall and pretend I did this on purpose.' I just like to see how people cover up their mishaps.

The funny thing about New York City is that if you hide from her, she's just gonna say, 'Whatever, kid!' and leave you in the dust.

Tina Fey writes crazy, off-color, racist, hilarious stuff for '30 Rock,' but it's always funny because you're in this almost two-dimensional world where there's Jenna Maroney and these over-the-top characters. That's the framework.

I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh.

I do quite like sightseeing. I like churches, museums, galleries and all that stuff. I love the smell of a church in Italy or the smell of an old greasy spoon somewhere. I like markets and little funny shops in the backstreets of Florence.

Everyday life is pretty funny and pretty ridiculous and occasionally really great, though not all the time, and that's all part of it.

I'm mourning with the rest of the world for the talented, gorgeous, funny, intelligent John Forsythe but my heart is broken for the loss of my dear, dear friend and neighbor. I will miss him terribly.

It's funny, after a while, you get tired of having to fight someone because they don't like the way you look.

George Clooney is exactly what you would expect. He's annoyingly good looking, insanely funny, and super smart. So you just feel really inferior around him all the time. You end up feeling really bad about yourself, but you walk away feeling really great about George Clooney.

My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.

I really wanted to find a piano for the farm house. There were so many free pianos on Craigslist, I thought, 'Let's get as many free pianos as we can and stick them all in the barn.' I got eight in a short period of time, only six of which were tunable, but it's still quite funny.

My mother was funnier than anybody I ever worked for. My father was as funny as this coat. Not a laugh a minute, my father.

I make big objects that are simple, bright and clear, kind of ironic but hopefully funny because I love the shapes, and I get inspiration from toys and books, and I believe in art for everyone.

One man is as good as another until he has written a book.

I think it's one of those funny things - sometimes you're not really friends with somebody until you've gotten into a good fight, and I think that's the situation with Superman and Batman.

Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.

I don't know if I was a funny kid. I would say I was a loud and weird kid.

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.

I come from a background of hanging out with friends and shooting videos with them, with funny stuff coming out of the group. I guess we got the same charge jocks get out of sports.

Don't remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you'll be disappointed.

I like girls who are funny with a warped sense of humor.

I guess the producers saw me and knew I was literate and I always tried to be alert and it's funny because you have to have a sharpness to do those shows, especially some of the ones I did in later years.

Honestly, I like someone who is really grounded, super sweet, honest. I need them to have a sense of humor. I need them to laugh at what's funny, I need them to get jokes and be funny and be witty and sarcastic.

The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem to come up with anything new that's funny. That's a tough place to be as a comedian.

You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.

She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go.

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny.

I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli.

I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day.